Therapy, Depression, and Suicide... Part 2

Therapy, Depression, and Suicide... Part 2

I have tried for two weeks to write this post. Two weeks going over all the scenarios in my life that warranted seeing a therapist and why I didn't at the time.

But that's the thing. You don't HAVE to need help to see a therapist. They can do such wonderful things in your life. They can just be there for you. They can be a sounding board for you whatever you have going on. They can help you unravel all the things in your brain and organize your thoughts.

I am 34 years old, and for 32 of those years I never sought therapy. 

I probably should have. Those tougher times would have been a lot easier to work through if I had. But I didn't. 

Well, I take that back, a really shitty thing happened to me in my teen years (that's for another day) and my Mom made me see someone. But that ended swiftly when the therapist realized I didn't really need the help she could give me.

I see someone now. About a year before we left Michigan I started seeing her on a recommendation from my best friend. She was fantastic. I was just having a hard time processing all the things going on around me. Marriage, kids, jobs, family relationships, my own brain. Just all of it. 

I am thankful for that time with her. It really helped me process everything going on all around me. When we moved, I was good. I was in a darn good place. I didn't FEEL like I needed to see someone, and then I did. 

I see someone now. I see someone again via tele-therapy (thanks friends who told me to try that).  For me therapy, is usually a dumping ground for all the craziness I feel is in my head. It's a place to learn new coping skills for what's going on around me.

For you, it could be anything. A place to process trauma. Gain coping skills. To dump all your life yuckiness onto someone else who will help make sense of it all. If you think you need therapy, find someone you connect with who you think will really help you. Outline what you want to get out of it and make a plan. When I began we spent the first session really going over what I wanted to get out of it. I saw her weekly for the last 3 months and a couple weeks ago I decided I was ready to go every other week.

Do not feel ashamed for getting help. Nick and I are HUGE advocates for mental health and access to mental health services. We always have been, but after losing his father to suicide, even more so. We will never know what made my Father-in-Law do what he did, never. That hurts, but all we can do now is show the people around us that we love them and want them well. We are here for you. You can reach out to us, no matter why or when.

There is NO shame in saying you need help or want help. If you cannot find someone to talk to, let me know. We'll see how we can help. Don't forget you can always, call or chat with the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Visit: Suicide Prevention Lifeline for more info!

Coronavirus and Birthdays

How We Are Handling Birthdays During A Pandemic!

What a wild time we are living in. Whether you believe it's real or a hoax, chances are you are at home social distancing right now because of COVID-19. And with that comes the challenge of celebrating special events without being able to leave the house to do so.

Mid-March my kids left school, for what we didn't know then would be the last time, and we were planning a super fun family day to celebrate our youngest child's birthday. The original plan was to take him to see Onward at the local theater and then go bowling at the alley next door.

It is the first year in his short life where he was adamant about what he wanted to do for the day, a movie and bowling. We were so excited to give him his day. But a pandemic got in the way.

That weekend my husband and I heard rumblings that Spring Break might be extended and we might end up being under a stay at home order. So we went to Target and got some gifts for our little guy. We made sure to focus his gifts on his fave color: GREEN!

St. Patricks Day makes shopping very easy for our little guy.

He has the most expressive face.

We also got cake mix and frosting and some food coloring just in case stores weren't open to pick up the cake he wanted. (Note: stores ended up being essential and not closing, but Nicky chose a cake by Daddy anyway)

Quadruple layer chocolate cake by Dad.

Green inside for his fave color! 

So yummy.

I then thought... what are we going to do besides cake and presents to make this special! Well, we got the idea in our heads to make it a movie theater experience at home. I got on Amazon and we ordered all the yummy movie theater treats we all love.

Our fave movie treats.

Nostalgia Popcorn maker!

Once I had those it was time to figure out how to make popcorn more special than just in a mixing bowl. The kids like air-popped popcorn from our old time machine. I like it from the microwave (I know, so bad). I got these cute buckets on Amazon.

Popcorn buckets.

Disney made life easy on us by releasing Onward (it's on Disney+ now too) to digital early, so we bought it! YAY! Thankful for our streaming services right now.

So we were able to make his day really special. He got green gifts, his choice for dinner delivered to our door, green cake with chocolate frosting and to have a movie night with all the special treats we'd get from the theater... and then some.

Our oldest daughter has a birthday in May and we'll be doing the same birthday movie night! We'll have her fave meal delivered, she'll pick the movie, and we'll spend it hunkered down as a family!

I hope you all find this helpful not only for birthdays, but for a fun way to make family movie night a little more special!

Thanks for reading,
The Ginger

My First Blog Post... Sort of.

A more thorough introduction!

Welcome, friends! I'm Misty.

I am a 30s something wife and mother who is living the quaran-dream in Fredericksburg, VA. OK, so yes, this comes to you during quarantine, but it is a far from a dream being stuck at home almost 24/7. :)

I was born and raised in a small town in Illinois and spent the first 18+ years of my life there. I married my best friend, soulmate, high school sweetheart in 2004 and left home for good.

Nick and I on our wedding day in 2004.

Nick had joined the Navy, so we got to travel a bit. While he was serving we lived in Charleston, SC (which was and IS still my favorite place we've ever lived) TWICE; Madison, WI; Kings Bay, GA; and Norfolk, VA. Once he got out we moved to a small town in Michigan on the lake (on a clear night you could see Chicago!). 

With his new job it brought us back to the East coast and back to Virginia to a GORGEOUS and historic town near George Washington's childhood home!

I met my amazing husband, Nick, at my orientation at McHugh's Double Drive-Thru (Famous in Coles county, not the world) in 2002. We were work friends until 2003 when depending who you ask about how it went down he became my Junior Prom date and we've been pretty inseparable since then.

Nick and I in the early days! 

We have been able to build a wonderful life together which includes our four fantastic kids (they're the quartet of crazy this blog is named after)!
Mercedes joined our family in 2006 (on Mother's day), Johnathan came 2 years later (on my birthday) in 2008, Madison was born in 2012 (the return of sunshine to a sad time for our family), and Nicky was born in 2014 (exactly 30 years, 1 month, and 2 weeks after his daddy)!

Our family photo from 2019. Photo Credit: Sweet Rose Studios

We aren't an extraordinary family, we just love hard and take it day by day. 

I have a love for lots of things. Addictive personality much? I love Nick, my kids, my family, almost any genre of music, trashy reality TV (Team Bravo, not Bachelor), all the Harry Potter things, I am obsessively in love with Disney, Outlander is everything. Give me all the good books, great food, and fun.

I am hoping this will serve as a virtual journal for myself, but that it will also include things people are interested to read about and follow me as a figure out how to live my best life! I may be 34 years old, but I am working to figure out what I want to be when I grow up now that my kids are all in full day school. Well.. I think so, we'll see what this silly Coronavirus does for us and if and when they go back to school. We'll look back on this post in a few years and think WOW she created this when there was a pandemic taking over the world.

I once had a blog, but didn't know what I wanted to write about, or rather had too many ideas and they didn't translate well. I am hoping this time around I can share things that are entertaining to read, helpful to people, and give a little sunshine on a rainy day.

Thanks for reading! I am an open book, which sometimes gets me in trouble, but feel free to contact me with any questions. 

Lastly, I want to thank Nick for always supporting me no matter what my crazy ideas are!

Now (2019)

Then (2004)...